#TeaserTuesday #131PreviewReview #AuthorInterviews #BDSM #Erotica #D/s @ariana_erotica @shannonihayes

The 131 Preview Interview Presents

Ariana Paige

Bio:

I have been writing my entire life ... or at least since I learned my ABCs. I write less about ponies and princesses these days, but I still explore my fantasies. I also draw a lot on my own experiences, which by rights should horrify me ... if I had any shame.
I am a lifestyle dominant, which means I live and breathe BDSM. I have been active in the kink community for over a decade, first as a submissive and later finding true fulfillment in embracing my true role as a Domme. For me, kink is as much about control as it is sex – exerting, seizing and watching another partner yield it to me.
Having a man serving me can be quite the aphrodisiac though, and I never can fully separate BDSM and sex. I am a sadist, taking exquisite pleasure in hurting my partners, but I believe strongly in consensual play. BDSM, done right, is like a dance between two partners, working together to create something beautiful and sensual.
I explore female power in my writing, because it is a topic that I find endlessly fascinating. Women have the ability to captivate and possess men through our appearance, body language and words. We hold the cards, and I love delving into that ability. I discovered my own power over men when I was in a teenager. I believe in the inherent strength of women. We are incredible creatures, especially when we truly find ourselves and learn to tap into the almost magical power we all possess.
My first work, The Houseboy – Part 1, explores a woman's discovery of her inner Domme and follows her as she learns just how much she enjoys being in control. My second book, With Lustful Intent, focuses on a younger, free-spirited woman who uses her charms to ensnare her town's new preacher. My third book, Two in the Hand, follows an experienced Domme as she considers taking on a new submissive partner or two.
Despite what some may think about FemDom and dominant women, I absolutely adore men. I enjoy their company, and I have loved several in my lifetime. I believe that this love of men also carries through my writing. The women may be in charge, but they usually act with love and caring as their primary motivations. Life without men would not be nearly as wonderful. I just happen to prefer them at my feet.
XOXO

I would like to officially Welcome you to the 131 Preview Interview

Ariana 

Yay. I've been looking forward to it!

As have I! Let's start off with an easy one.

Ariana 

Easy is my style. LOL

How are you on this fine September evening?

Ariana 

I'm doing great. A little curious and nervous about where we're going to end up in this, but I'm always game for anything so ...

How are you doing?

Excellent! Just wrote my first Novelette and it's getting rave reviews! SO I'm a giddy giddy girl!

Ariana 

Oooh, I'll have to look for it.

No Looking I'll give it to you after the interview

I'd love for you to read it, you inspired me a wee bit

Ariana 

Awww. That's really nice of you to say. I'm actually always blown away when I hear stuff like that.

I have a "friend" on Goodreads who told me she tried out some stuff from one of my books. Believe me, they're not intended to be self-help books or how-to's. But it feels good to know that this stuff I publish affects people.

Two in the Hand was a very great read! And the way you write the D/s takes away the some of the fear many have, you showed the nurture side most avoid

Many don' t realize the affects of Sub drop, or domme drop for that matter

Ariana 

Thank you for seeing that. When I first got into BDSM, that was honestly the thing that surprised me the most. I mean, being naked and hit with stuff doesn't sound like a loving thing, but I'm not sure I've ever felt more cared for than in those moments when I've been on a cross being beaten. It's the touches that come with it and the words and the fact that this person is so in tune with you in that moment.

I refer to D/s a lot as a "dance," two partners moving together. There's a lot of sensuality, but also a lot of love between two partners in those moments.

Feeling a hand on your back, caressing you, and hearing a soothing voice whispering, "You're doing great. You look so beautiful."

How can you not feel loved.

And yes, subdrop and domme drop are crazy things. The first time both hit me I felt completely blindsided.

It's all the endorphins and the physical trauma and the emotional drain of having done something truly cruel to another person. The closest thing to it is depression, and when you're new to it all, there's no way to be prepared for what you're going to feel.

And then it doesn't hit you every single time, and often never the same, so ... well, fuck. It's something.

I've done the research, talked to a few people, but most seem to just want to beat the hell out of me... I was surprised when you snet your links to find you had a fetlife link you actually share.. I have one as well. How do you weed ut the craZies

Ariana

Ha. Two ways -- I really don't have any pictures of myself on there, and I don't spend enough time on that account as I probably should.

That said, I do get emails from men who want to drop everything in their lives to come and be my sex slaves. I tell them briefly that I already have a submissive, and just shoot them down cold.

I actually get hit on a lot more on Facebook than on FetLife.

lol! Oh FB and the men who love us! You are pretty straight forward, has this always been the case or did the lifestyle bring you around to it?

Ariana 

I was actually a lot more timid when I was younger. Not soft spoken, mind you, but polite. The lifestyle and too many failed relationships have taught me to just ask for what I want. Or better still, to just demand it.

I'm not perfect at it always, but I am a lot more bold than I used to be. It's funny too how readily people usually respond to being direct.

There is also the public Ariana Paige and the real me. We aren't exactly the same person. She's an extension of me for sure, but there are moments when I cannot believe the shit that comes out of her mouth.

LOL. I don't have much of a filter, in public or private

Ariana 

That's a much better way to live. You won't hold on to any bullshit. You may have to sorry more often, but you won't be apologizing to yourself nearly as much.

Nah, no reason to apologize when what comes from my mouth is honest

Ariana 

Now that's completely true. There are more effective ways to be honest in certain situations, but really people can usually handle the truth, and sadly we usually are thinking much worse about ourselves than whatever someone else might say.

Ain't that the truth!

Ariana 

And yet we end up spending so much time just avoiding saying what we think because we'd hate to offend someone who seems dead set on offending us. LOL

So I'm sure you get this a lot, but I have to ask, the pegging scene... Just from your head, or life experience?

Ariana 

Oh, pegging is awesome. It's a lot of fun for the top, especially if the guy is nervous or feels emasculated by it. When you take someone to a place they aren't sure about like that, it's a real treat. I would never do it quite as coercively as Mistress Lisa does in the book, but I do like to own every inch of my subs.

*sinister grin*

Ariana 

And I cannot emphasize the importance of lube enough. ;)

I do enjoy playing on the power exchange, and for an otherwise heterosexual guy, having his ass fucked by a woman is a definitely a power play.

You can do it gently and loving and that can be fun. Or, you can make him your bitch with lots of name calling. The one thing I didn't make him do in the book was sucking on the dildo. It's always fun having a guy suck on your dick.

I hear that it is better to have a harness that is fitted to you, rather than something just off the rack, are there still places where that is done? Fittings I mean

damn me and my nails...

Ariana 

I've always ordered mine online. The key is really to have a good fitting harness though, one that is easily adjustable both around the waist and the legs. If you're new to it and not sure it's going to be a regular thing, then buy a cheaper one. Then invest a little more. Do NOT go with leather though. Get something machine washable. Again, the lube ... and the Santorum.

Santorum? Okay new vocab word

Ariana 

Butt sex is never going to be clean. There's no way around it. So, I just roll with it. I'm not into scat at all, but ass play is too much fun. So just deal with it.

Dan Savage coined it several years ago. It's the lube and cum and other stuff that seeps out of someone's butt after anal sex. He got a ton of people to link that definition to a Republican family values Senator's name. One of the greatest pranks ever.

That's why it sounded familiar!!!

Ariana 

I almost feel sorry for the guy ... almost.

Right

In Two in the Hand, you use the Gates of Hell, is that your fav CBT device

Do you prefer the three or six ring

Ariana 

Actually, I've found it doesn't work as well as you would like it too. If a guy doesn't stay hard, it tends to slide around. But, it looks awesome on a nice hard cock. I'm not positive how many rings mine has. I would have guessed five, but maybe it's six.

But my hands are my favorite CBT device. Grabbing a hold of a guy's balls, playing with them, mixing in the pain and pleasure. Just absolutely tormenting him that way.

See I'm more of a mouth girl

I like to use my teeth

Ariana 

Oh, teeth are never a bad thing. But again, for me, it's kind of the same thing. There's this intimacy to it, a directness of my body touching his. Of course, it also sends a certain message when you take a guy's cock or balls in your mouth. He's crossed a certain line in terms of your relationship.

If I'm playing with someone new, I'm probably not going to put my mouth on his junk for a bit. He has to earn that.

*nods head*

Glad this is in chat the notes are taken for me!

Ariana 

It's not a hard and fast rule, really, but I do want him to feel like touching me or being touched by me is more of a privilege vs. something he should expect. But I'm almost definitely not going to fuck him on the first date or even the second. In Two in the Hand, Ryan never gets to have sex with Mistress Lisa. She keeps that distance. She doesn't even make him cum. She uses someone else for that.

All that being said, it's supposed to be about my pleasure, and even my rules are meant to be broken ... by me at least.

I think sometimes people think that dominant women hate men, but the truth is I absolutely love them. I enjoy playing with them, and I feel grateful to be in a position to get to control so much of that play. So, if a guy has a nice cock and I really want to put it in my mouth, then I probably will. LOL

I can't resist that urge myself. lol

Ariana

There's just something about boobs and dicks that just makes me want to play with them. They're just fun.

I Can't pass up a great rack!

Ariana 

I don't think anyone can. Maybe it's some latent holdover from when we were infants, I don't know. But yes, absolutely!

I'm only 5'3 and minimal in the boob dept, with a fat ass, so I like a tall thin gal with big tits, what can I say!

Ariana

Don't knock being short. I know at least one man who has a huge thing for short women.

And men gotta be over 6' I like then thin too

I'm the only fatty allowed!

Men like short women because we are the perfect height when seated to suck a mean cock

Ariana

Ha. I'm glad you own that. You should. One of my struggles with covers for my books in particular is not wanting to perpetuate the statuesque, busty chick and ripply abbed hunk thing.

We're all the perfect height to suck a cock. You just have to find the right position.

Touche!

I just got this thing about never hitting my knees!

Ariana

I always end up making my characters attractive, or at least what seems attractive to me, but it sort of feels phony to me to make them all super models.

My girls vary, but my guys are all fucking hot panty droppers

I can't write the sex that I do without picturing a guy that gets me wet

Ariana 

I try to walk a line with mine. I guess it's the same for how I present BDSM. I mean, I'm supposed to be writing fantasy, and yet I struggle to make anything non-consensual. Then again, I don't really find a totally ripped guy, like you see on just about every romance book, to be that hot. I like a guy to be fit, but I've never run into a man who looked like one of those uber-hunks.

I also have this theory that pretty people make worse lovers. They never had to try to get laid, it just happened all the time, so they never had to develop any real skills as lovers.

Now, do I want to look down and find some hideous guy's face between my legs -- and believe me, I've had offers? Of course not, but real people doing real things just excites me a little more.

But that's how my mind works. I know other people want that visual fantasy, and sometimes it's a challenge to set up characters in a fully consensual way.

I get that, I have had my share of both, cocky good-lookers and odd hot guys, the odd hot guys are better, you know the ones that are not quite perfect teeth, or just not quite there in the abs.. they work their asses off for ya

Ariana 

Amen. A slightly geeky looking guy or a guy who doesn't realize how hot he actually is, those are usually the keepers.

Exactly

or you hit pay dirt with the one who was odd in HS but came into it as he hit his thirties/forties..

Ariana 

Bingo.

Guys with big dicks are usually not the best in bed either. Their cocks are fun to play with, but they tend to be more lame in bed. Plus, a lot of guys with big dicks can't get as hard.

Give me a solid 6 inches over a floppy 8.

hmm, see I haven't had that problem, I've got a pelvic tilt and anything under 8 doesn't do the trick, so I've only ever been with larger guys, sorta had too

Ariana 

Well, hitting that right spot inside is important.

Another reason this carnival rides got a height requirement!

Ariana 

Well, height doesn't always mean what you hope it will. The biggest one I've ever run into was on a man who was maybe five-nine.

Oh and a working man is a must, I'm a sucker for calluses!

Ariana 

Now see, I'm not sure I agree on that one. I do like a guy who is strong and will make me feel safe. But safe and strong can come in a lot of different forms.

This is true

Ariana 

So I'm curious, what did you think about Ryan in Two in the Hand?

He was a glutton for punishment, to start

lol

he started off cocky but that kick to the balls turned his head around realy fast

Ariana 

Definitely true. I felt like he had to be an asshole, but an easily redeemable one. So, I ended up making him a bit of an airhead, really.

Yes, he was.... flakey

but it was cute

Ariana 

Not stupid, but sort of this arrogant cluelessness about him, like things always sort of work out for him despite himself.

Phew. I'll take cute. :)

I think more like surferesqe

I could see him coming from a laid back commune or some thing like that

Ariana 

Yeah, I can see that. I didn't have that in mind at all, but that's a really great way of putting it.

sorta sheltered but pampered

Ariana 

In my head, he was this guy who grew up in a semi-affluent family, mom always did his laundry and his dad always had tickets to the big game.

He's never really known hardship or struggle because usually things just sort of come easily or fall into his lap. He's not bad because of that and it's not his fault, but he's never had to try or step outside his own comfort zone.

See now if you continued their story with a pt2 I'd say that Mistress Lisa would have found that laundry was folded horribly!

Ariana 

I think so too, but not because he meant to do a shitty job, but he didn't know how to do it right.

Exactly

Ariana 

He's sort of the polar opposite of Mark in The Houseboy. With him I concocted essentially the perfect submissive man. He wants to do the cleaning and he's got a 10 inch dick.

*GRIN* My kind of man!

Ariana

He's ridiculously compliant, whereas Ryan is absolutely heading toward being a brat.

And yes, I'm sure there will be a sequel to that one. If not for Mistress Lisa or Ryan then for Melinda. I just love that fucking girl.

Oh , I don't know that I could handle compliant! I need a fight in my men... I'm so afraid I'll just walk all over them if they don't have at least a little fight in them

Ariana 

A little fight is fun, but brats are a huge turnoff.

But Brats are sort of a kink to, aren't they

Ariana 

Ryan is going to ask a lot of why's when he's told to do something.

Some people apparently love them. Then again, some people love pony play. More power to you if you're into that, but it does absolutely nothing for me. I hear disrespect in a brat, which pisses me off, and then I'm not having fun. And dammit, this is my ride we're on. LOL

lol! Ryan is going to find himself wearing a gag I suspect.

Ariana 

Ryan had better hope there isn't a sequel, because he's in for a fucking world of hurt.

But I suspect having two women involved might just soften the blow for him.

Maybe

Ariana

True. It could make it that much worse. He's definitely heading toward a heaping dose of humility.

Would Mistress Lisa keep him in a 24/7 situation or does she prefer her space

Ariana 

I don't think she would do 24/7 with him. Certainly not at the level of training he's at right now. She would have to beat the brat out of him first. Maybe a long weekend to start.

Definitely he couldn't be a live-in. But no, a 24/7 situation with plenty of space for her might be a good thing for him to experience.

It would certainty be something to read

Ariana 

And if Melinda starts to find her feet as a domme, then that might make it a lot more tolerable for Lisa.

*shit eating grin

Ariana 

To me, that's where the real magic in a sequel could happen. Melinda is sort of like Brittany Murphy to me when she was in Clueless. She's this totally gorgeous girl who doesn't know she's a leading woman yet.

I don't think Lisa has the same potential for growth as a character, but she's a hell of a vehicle to help drive two characters who do.

Absolutely! Have you or anyone you know have any experience with the 24/7 situation? How does it work?

Ariana 

I have a 24/7 situation now. We spend a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of time together, and it's wonderful. Now, the dynamic changes when you're living with someone. There are days one or the other of you aren't feeling it, and like all relationships it has its challenges. But the communication required for D/s creeps into everything ... usually.

I mean I would expect it require a total commitment

Ariana 

Pretty much. You have to really respect and trust someone to make them that big a part of your life. We talk about almost everything, and that's really important. But the BDSM stuff is often less obvious when you boil it down. We're partners, and we both have roles. We do our best to fulfill them, and having that essentially defined helps to make our lives more clear.

Then communicating about things when something breaks down helps us understand each other better, redefine things if we need to, and to be happier with each other and our life together.

So essentially it's a better more committed relationship

Where you aren't afraid to be who you actually are

Ariana 

I would hate to be in any relationship where I can't be who I actually am. I've done that before when I was younger, and I would never want to go back.

The elements of BDSM strengthen us as a couple. It really is about that trust, respect and communication. So many couples seem to get into trouble because they won't say what's bugging them.

I always say communication is key

Ariana

Always.

So a few random kink questions

Ariana 

OK.

Favorite toy for thuddy pain

Ariana Paige

A heavy flogger.

And stingy pain

Ariana 

I love throwing a whip and watching people jump.

Lovely!Do you have a pic? *waggles brows*

Ariana Paige

Of me throwing a whip? I'm not sure I do.

Of the whip even ( Note I found this later)

Ariana

It seems like I'm the one who ends up taking the pictures. I need to work on that.

YES!

Ariana 

I'd have to find one. It's not a monster whip. It's a 3 or 4 footer, but it's a good size for me.

Do you do any rigging? I'm fascinated by rope bondage..

Ariana 

I have messed with it now and then, but I kind of find the near cult-like religiosity of riggers tiresome. "I was doing a [insert obscure Japanese phrase here] the other day. I used an inverted [insert another obscure Japanese phrase] and then finished it with a [insert one more obscure Japanese phrase]."

I respect rope, and it can be a lot of fun, but for me it's more about what you do once you've got the person bound that's more fun.

But, I can tie someone up, and if I really, really had to I could suspend them. It's just not my passion, and I think you have to have a passion for it to really excel at rope.

So what do you like to use for binding

Ariana 

Give me a pair of cuffs any day. They're quick, easy, and you can clip them to fucking anything.

Nice

So what's your take on corsets, love them or no

Ariana

Love them. Absolutely love them.

I love wearing them, but not every day.

Me too but they are a bitch to get into alone

Ariana 

That's what boys are for. LOL

Lol They never tie them right

Ariana 

Not true. You just have to make them learn. Find a video on YouTube and have him watch it a few times.

I like the top and bottom center tie from the back

Ariana 

You should also try practicing sometime when you're not in a rush to get to an event.

Then he gets the added bonus of helping you out of it.

I haven't worn one in years, I'm thinking of getting a mere one it's just hard being a big gal

New one

I would lube to have one for my book signings next month

Wow phone turned love to lube.... wonder where it's mind is

Ariana 

Oh, now that would be hot.

I've had some talks about doing a naked book reading, but I'm not sure that will happen.

Pair it up with some jeans and kitten heels

You could do it live feed on fb!!!

Ariana 

I'm pretty sure I would get some takers for a live feed, but I'm not sure it would sell any copies of my books! ;)

Ah! A live strip! For every ten books you take something off

Ariana 

Definitely not "free for Kindle Unlimited." LOL

NO! Definitely not

Ariana 

I'm going to want more than a half a cent a word if I'm going naked.

could do paperback edition

Ariana 

That's my plan once I write The Houseboy - Part 3.

But the book I'm working on right now may end up being my first print book. It's been cruising toward novel length. I'm at 30,000 words and there's a lot of plot to come yet.

Or should I say there's a lot of cum to plot yet?

Y wait, I did ppbk for Midnight Run and it's only 50p

Selling for 6.99 .99 kindle

Ariana

I've thought about doing it, but I kind of wanted something novel-length for my first one.

How do the sales compare to Kindle only?

Don't know yet, it's not live

Goes live tomorrow in ppbk. The 24th kindle, my other books sell occasionally in ppbk

Ariana 

Gotch ya. You will have to update me. I would love to know how print sells compared to digital. I've done some playing with CreateSpace, and I'm getting ready to dive into it.

If you ever need help, I've been working with it since 2012

Ariana 

Good luck with the new title. It's always a huge accomplishment to get something published and out for readers.

I might ask for pointers. I've been having fun with it, and my sales are growing month-by-month. I'm not a best seller yet, but I'm getting closer.

The Houseboy - Part 2 nearly hit top 100 for BDSM erotica, but I just barely fell short.

I'm always doing FB events and just writing my heart out, I don't care if I make a best seller list, sue it would be great, but I'm just happy that people who do read my work love it

Ariana 

Absolutely. I'm not operating under some expectation that I will be able to quit my day job and just write full time. It would be awesome if that happened. But until it does, getting great feedback from readers and meeting other writers had been incredible. That being said, making a few bucks doesn't suck.

No, No it doesn't

Ariana 

I was able to buy dinner out with my first round of royalty payments.

That's not getting rich, but it made a meal out even more special.

It keeps me in cigars and Coffee!!

Ariana 

And just like in the BDSM community, there are a lot of really awesome folks writing and reading erotica.

I've found that out more recently! I didn't start out writing it, I didn't even classify my work that way intentionally, but I figure I may as well own up to it

I mean with teasers like this!

Ariana 

I accepted the fact that I was writing porn from the get go. I label myself on Twitter and Facebook as a "smut peddler" and "literary pornographer" and I don't mind that one bit. I now people are masturbating when they read my books. But, I also hope that it's affecting them beyond that too. Hopefully people learn a little about the real BDSM lifestyle or a character makes them think or feel about something In a new way.

Just because my books are covered in splooge and bruises doesn't make them bad or less important than any other book. It's still about good characters, a compelling story line, and interesting dialogue.

YES! EXACTlY! I have a point of making a GOOD STORY!

SO DO YOU!

Ariana

I've ready some really trashy stuff that doesn't inspire me, and I hope that readers see the difference and that they appreciate it. So far, so good.

Thank you. I can't wait to read yours too!

And the thing to me is that people do fuck. We all do. And a lot of us like some pretty naughty, deviant stuff mixed in with our fucking. So why shouldn't that be a part of story-telling?

I'm not going to pretend that I'm somehow changing the world by writing BDSM erotica, but maybe I'm contributing to opening minds a little. I'm not leading the march, but I'm standing in the middle somewhere holding my picket sign.

Never mind the whole female supremacy and feminist stuff. What I'm doing, what we're doing, does matter. Plus, we're entertaining a lot of people and helping them get off. That is a real home run.

I know what you mean! I wrote Fated Binds, my Paranormal Erotic BDSM Novel that is the precursor to the one I'm giving you tonight coming at it to show that it's about nurture and play, and emotion, not just let me smack you around, cuz it gets me off or I was abused so this is all I know...

Ariana 

I'm probably one of the few erotica writers who appreciates 50 Shades for that exact reason. Yes, it's horrid drivel, but it also thrust BDSM in some form or another into the public dialogue and helped make it more acceptable.

Hell if you are a voracious reader I'd love to send you all three! Let you get sucked into my Deviant Class.

Ariana 

The more people see us as normal and less as perverts, then the better off we will all be.

I couldn't agree more

Ariana

I'm probably a more voracious writer than reader. I'm still shaking my head at having an 8,000 word writing day. I know I've never read that much.

Oh my goodness. Is it really 8:30?

Ah well then the short is more up your alley, the novels are 80k and 120 k respectively!

I was just gonna say something!

it's been over 2 hours!'

Ariana 

LOL Is there anything else you want me to answer?

I was just thinking that too.

Tons! But I think we Shall call it for our Chat tonight!

Thank you so much! I think my readers will be in for a treat!

Ariana 

Cool. I really enjoyed it, and I definitely will hit you up for some suggestions on how to do events on Facebook.

Thank you. I had a great time. :)

Anytime! Well that's that my readers of the wee hours! Until next time! Keep it Safe, Sane And Consensual!! And Keep up with Ariana below! 

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